The Road

Past is like a mirror which shows reflection of yourself. It can be either an ugly one or maybe beautiful. But you can't be looking at that forever and dwell upon it. Because it can carry on with you; beautiful or ugly, it will be stuck. You need to cherish the beautiful memories and let go of the bad ones. It doesn't sounds easy as I said it. It ain't easy but then you have an obligation to yourself. The obligation to keep yourself happy and moving.

Yes, the Earth is round and the road you've travelled earlier will come back to you someday. You've moved ahead, maybe crawled but you came back to that point wiser and stronger than before. You can deal with it now. Everyone has problems, I've them too but I learnt that rather than dwelling into that problem and thinking about it, Search for a solution.

Yes saying all that is easy but it's life and it ain't easy.

The Box

I know there is a feeling in you that you are stuck and the worst part is that you can't come out. It feels like you are stuck inside a closed box, kicking and pushing hard so that you can come out. You're trying hard, gasping for air, it becomes harder to breathe as time passes by. It feels impossible to get out of that box. And then hopelessness takes over you.

But in real life there is no box. You have kept yourself locked in that box of insecurity. You are bound to that imaginary box. You are hopeless that nothing good will happen if you get out of that box. So you decide to live there and suffocate. But you dream of getting out and of breathing again and looking at the bright sun. But you still lack the faith to get out.

You know there was a small caterpillar in this huge world who feared the world. He knew he would be crushed or be eaten someday. So it built a box type cocoon around itself scared of the world. He thought he'd be safe in there. But in reality he suffocated inside that cocoon. So one day he decided that he wants to get out and see the world. He evolved into beautiful butterfly. He had wings now and he got out and started to fly fearlessly into the big blue sky.

No matter how much we be inside that box or cocoon, we are just suffering. I know it is hard but it is really not impossible. We may not get the wings but we get freedom. 

Two Face

Heads, I win.
Tails, you lose.

They called her ugly, fat, whore and slut. They stared at boobs and ass. They raped her. They made her feel alone, unsafe and threatened. Her happiness and freedom were lost. She was unwanted and lonely.

And after she was gone. They demanded justice for her. They did a candle march rally. They described how beautiful she was and how much they are going to miss her.

The norms of the two faced society. No matter what happens society is always on winning side.

A Drive in the Dark

Imagine you are driving at a cloudy night and there are no street lights. Everything is pitch black. The path ahead is illuminated by your car's headlights. You can only see till where the headlight reaches. You don't know what will come next, a surprise.

People expect from other people and end up getting hurt.  I know it's in the human nature to have expectations. But I feel if we add that element of surprise to our lives, there will be no room for expectations. Think of your life as that car and gaze till where you can see and leave everything else to be a surprise.

Things coming to you can be good or bad but then you'll have courage to face it. You'll not pre determine and be hurt. You'll focus on resolving the issue in hand. That's how I do it these days.  and lastly one of my favourite quote.

Yesterday is a History 

Tomorrow is a Mystery 

But Today is a gift, which is why we call it Present. :)

The Semicolon

;

Sometimes you just want things to happen, you wish. But down the road most of them remain wishes. Sometimes they come true. And sometimes it becomes reality when you decide to make it come true.

I was introduced to this new trend that has been going around, by my friend. A semicolon tattoo. I wondered what it meant? I knew that tattoos are deeply meaningful. I knew a semicolon represents a sentence the author could have ended, but chose not to. But what could it mean as a tattoo?

I found out. It meant that I have walked through the road of life, I fell, I got hurt and I cried. But then even with those bruises of depression, I chose to get up and march ahead. To sum it up in one line,"My Life Story isn't Over Yet". I smiled to myself and......

On 3rd August 2015... :) 

This is a constant reminder that I've endured it until now and I will not give up ever.

Love, Her (a short film)

This is the best short film I've ever seen. Please watch it and feel the magic that words can create. :)

Some Shit Called Love.

Disclaimer: I'm not writing this for sympathy or to get back any person. It is my way of getting things off the chest,

Do you believe in Love? I do. Do you believe in giving it all to the one you Love? I do. Would you forgive the person you love for making mistakes again and again? I did. "But" does the person you love has a heart to forgive you? I never found forgiveness. "But" then is love always so easy? It sure is not. "But" would you still pursue it even when it is not that easy? I sure did. Do you think the person you love will come to you even when you try really hard? Doors were sealed for me. Will there be any hope for you? I lost mine. Would you give up then? I did.

Sometimes you meet new people with new hopes that someone among them might be "THE ONE". You give it your all, you keep pushing forward in hopes of making it work, "But" sometimes the person you Love just doesn't sees that effort, blames everything on you. That person might disrespect you, insult you. "But" you don't stop, you keep on forgiving that person and  you keep on pressing it more and more. "But" It is not always that person comes to you. In the end you just give up on the person you love. You try to move on with your Love and Life. In the end it feels like your world comes to an end.

Why is it like that, I wonder? Is it because you want to see yourself happy? Is there any wrong in doing that? No, not at all. It is important to be happy and it is more important to LOVE YOURSELF. In the end when everything falls apart, it is YOU who is there by your side. Things might hold you back. Maybe out of the blue you miss that person badly or the person you dearly loved is with someone else. It might hurt a lot and it might also feel hopeless. Even if you have given up on loving that person "But" never give up on loving yourself. Try to stay calm and try to be happy because after every dark stormy night there is a bright new sunny day. 

SOMETIMES YOU JUST CROSS THE MEMORY LANE AND WISHED THOSE MOMENTS NEVER ENDED.

The Journey to Life

When you are traveling, you see all kinds of people and have many kinds of experiences through the journey. I am one of the those people who long for these kinds of experiences and encounters. And when you are living in a Mumbai, traveling is inevitable and so are the new encounters. Personally I feel Local trains are the best thing about traveling within Mumbai. But now a days, I simply miss that vigour that I once saw in those trains but now all I see are the people with cellphones. Like they are confined or imprisoned within the boundaries of virtual world while overlooking the real world. One of my Professor told us,"If you want to have all sorts of experiences, never carry your earphones. They cut you off from the real world."

Recently, I was headed back home with my brother in the local. Luckily I got a seat, I sat and started looking around observing people. There was a Chinese couple, group of friends and office people. It was quite lively and everyone were engrossed in doing whatever they are doing. When suddenly next station came and people entered, a lady in burqa came up to my seat. She was carrying a lot of stuff and looked very tired. I knew it was the month of Ramadan and she might have kept roza. I looked around people were still engrossed in whatever they were doing. I immediately gave her my seat and she looked at me with relieved and thankful eyes.

I don't know if this was a big or noble thing to do but I did because I saw a tired lady carrying lot of bags. Trust me it felt good, more human and alive. I don't want to be chained to the virtual world, that's not kind of life I want to live. I want to be everywhere, having fun and joy out of everything. These experience teach you a lot and makes you wonder about different angle of life. And the truth is that I am hungry for more of these experiences because that is how I will learn and define myself. And yes, when I am out, I never carry my earphones.... :P

 -To be present in the moment is the key and the goal.

Cravings

There are various phases in life when you want something to happen badly and then there comes a time when you don't want the same thing to happen at all, it can be vice-versa. Few want to be madly in Love, some want to be insanely Rich, others want exciting and thrilling Life and the rest simple and normal Living. One may get everything he wants and others work hard for it. They may get what they want but still not be satisfied. The endless process of wants, does it ever end? Are people ever happy when they get what they want?

It was the third day of my office. When I joined, the only thing that was in my mind was to learn and earn. To make money is the ultimate goal, but is it? The senior who sat besides me left for the day and I was engulfed in reading, when the office peon (kaka) entered the cabin. He sat next to me, called someone and started talking to someone. Being new I didn't mind, although I was bit irritated. But slowly his conversation peeked my interest and I listened helplessly.

Kaka- I have done everything I can. I saved Rs 30000 and got our house repaired. Its hard outside but I did everything in my power, raised our children. Half of my life is gone and I still work hard to earn bread for my family. But for what? It doesn't even matter anymore. Children have grown, married and separated with their spouses. And what do I want now. Money will come and go. I want her to look back at me and smile. I crave her smile, her love. But she doesn't, she is blank. I don't know what else to do? I want to be loved (at this point there was tear in his eyes). Once I called my Brother-In-Law but didn't say anything till he replied," is that you Jijaji?" I said,"yes". He talked to me with so much respect. It made me so happy. I want that, yes I want to be respected and loved. 

Hearing him say all those things made me think a lot about life. It put me in dilemma about everything. But then I know that every aspect of life is crucial. Happiness is important so is Love so is Money so is Sadness. Every other thing makes us understand the value of other. The one who has Money craves for Love and one who has Love craves for Money. The value of Happiness cannot be understood until one has faced sadness. But what about those who don't get one of those?

“Man wanted a home, a place for warmth, or comfort, first of physical warmth, then the warmth of the affections.” ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Broken Days

I promise I won't miss you.
I promise I won't call you when I am lonely.
I promise I won't text you two weeks from now or two months from now saying that I am sorry.
But I wish you miss the way I looked at you 
I wish you miss our rides when I was dropping you home just to get those extra 30 min more to be with you
I wish you remember the way I smiled at you and tried to make you smile
I wish someday you hear my name and it makes your heart drop.
But don't miss me and don't come back
Because I have never loved anyone so deeply, but also I have never despised anyone less.
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I see you are happy..be that..but let me be
With me and my life
Don't block me but..
I want to see you
See you everyday..
And suffer
Suffer till the day..
I don't want to
Suffer
I wish to break down..and cry.. and wallow in pity
Break down everyday
Till the day I don't want it..
till the day
I don't want you anymore..

Does the sun promise to shine?

No, but it will

Even behind the darkest cloud it will.

 And no promise

will make it shine longer or brighter,

for that is its fate,

 To burn until it can burn no more.

So, to love you is not my promise,

for that is my fate,

To burn for you until I can burn no more.

By Atticus