Some Shit Called Love.

Disclaimer: I'm not writing this for sympathy or to get back any person. It is my way of getting things off the chest,

Do you believe in Love? I do. Do you believe in giving it all to the one you Love? I do. Would you forgive the person you love for making mistakes again and again? I did. "But" does the person you love has a heart to forgive you? I never found forgiveness. "But" then is love always so easy? It sure is not. "But" would you still pursue it even when it is not that easy? I sure did. Do you think the person you love will come to you even when you try really hard? Doors were sealed for me. Will there be any hope for you? I lost mine. Would you give up then? I did.

Sometimes you meet new people with new hopes that someone among them might be "THE ONE". You give it your all, you keep pushing forward in hopes of making it work, "But" sometimes the person you Love just doesn't sees that effort, blames everything on you. That person might disrespect you, insult you. "But" you don't stop, you keep on forgiving that person and  you keep on pressing it more and more. "But" It is not always that person comes to you. In the end you just give up on the person you love. You try to move on with your Love and Life. In the end it feels like your world comes to an end.

Why is it like that, I wonder? Is it because you want to see yourself happy? Is there any wrong in doing that? No, not at all. It is important to be happy and it is more important to LOVE YOURSELF. In the end when everything falls apart, it is YOU who is there by your side. Things might hold you back. Maybe out of the blue you miss that person badly or the person you dearly loved is with someone else. It might hurt a lot and it might also feel hopeless. Even if you have given up on loving that person "But" never give up on loving yourself. Try to stay calm and try to be happy because after every dark stormy night there is a bright new sunny day. 

SOMETIMES YOU JUST CROSS THE MEMORY LANE AND WISHED THOSE MOMENTS NEVER ENDED.

The Journey to Life

When you are traveling, you see all kinds of people and have many kinds of experiences through the journey. I am one of the those people who long for these kinds of experiences and encounters. And when you are living in a Mumbai, traveling is inevitable and so are the new encounters. Personally I feel Local trains are the best thing about traveling within Mumbai. But now a days, I simply miss that vigour that I once saw in those trains but now all I see are the people with cellphones. Like they are confined or imprisoned within the boundaries of virtual world while overlooking the real world. One of my Professor told us,"If you want to have all sorts of experiences, never carry your earphones. They cut you off from the real world."

Recently, I was headed back home with my brother in the local. Luckily I got a seat, I sat and started looking around observing people. There was a Chinese couple, group of friends and office people. It was quite lively and everyone were engrossed in doing whatever they are doing. When suddenly next station came and people entered, a lady in burqa came up to my seat. She was carrying a lot of stuff and looked very tired. I knew it was the month of Ramadan and she might have kept roza. I looked around people were still engrossed in whatever they were doing. I immediately gave her my seat and she looked at me with relieved and thankful eyes.

I don't know if this was a big or noble thing to do but I did because I saw a tired lady carrying lot of bags. Trust me it felt good, more human and alive. I don't want to be chained to the virtual world, that's not kind of life I want to live. I want to be everywhere, having fun and joy out of everything. These experience teach you a lot and makes you wonder about different angle of life. And the truth is that I am hungry for more of these experiences because that is how I will learn and define myself. And yes, when I am out, I never carry my earphones.... :P

 -To be present in the moment is the key and the goal.

Cravings

There are various phases in life when you want something to happen badly and then there comes a time when you don't want the same thing to happen at all, it can be vice-versa. Few want to be madly in Love, some want to be insanely Rich, others want exciting and thrilling Life and the rest simple and normal Living. One may get everything he wants and others work hard for it. They may get what they want but still not be satisfied. The endless process of wants, does it ever end? Are people ever happy when they get what they want?

It was the third day of my office. When I joined, the only thing that was in my mind was to learn and earn. To make money is the ultimate goal, but is it? The senior who sat besides me left for the day and I was engulfed in reading, when the office peon (kaka) entered the cabin. He sat next to me, called someone and started talking to someone. Being new I didn't mind, although I was bit irritated. But slowly his conversation peeked my interest and I listened helplessly.

Kaka- I have done everything I can. I saved Rs 30000 and got our house repaired. Its hard outside but I did everything in my power, raised our children. Half of my life is gone and I still work hard to earn bread for my family. But for what? It doesn't even matter anymore. Children have grown, married and separated with their spouses. And what do I want now. Money will come and go. I want her to look back at me and smile. I crave her smile, her love. But she doesn't, she is blank. I don't know what else to do? I want to be loved (at this point there was tear in his eyes). Once I called my Brother-In-Law but didn't say anything till he replied," is that you Jijaji?" I said,"yes". He talked to me with so much respect. It made me so happy. I want that, yes I want to be respected and loved. 

Hearing him say all those things made me think a lot about life. It put me in dilemma about everything. But then I know that every aspect of life is crucial. Happiness is important so is Love so is Money so is Sadness. Every other thing makes us understand the value of other. The one who has Money craves for Love and one who has Love craves for Money. The value of Happiness cannot be understood until one has faced sadness. But what about those who don't get one of those?

“Man wanted a home, a place for warmth, or comfort, first of physical warmth, then the warmth of the affections.” ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden