A Never Ending Love

 when I was going through my feeds Facebook, I saw a picture and I came across this topic I always wanted to write about but I could never do it. Simply because I never had any ending to it. This topic was so damn controversial in my head. And I still know whatever I write, its never going to be good enough or I can say my writing will never do justice with this topic.

This is a story of every guy or maybe most guys who fell in love for the first time but have never risen in love. He saw her for the first time and somewhere he knew she's the one. Although they were at very tender age he fell in love, real or not but he was very fond of her. She always took care of him, listened to his never ending sob stories and never got tired of it. And he was madly in love. She always shared her little excursions of her. And he wished that he could be with her too. She always talked like its never gonna end. And he wished it wouldn't. She always told him about her dreams and how she's going to conquer the world.  And his dream and world were just one, her. They had so many endless conversation and they were so foolish but yet he wanted to be a fool with her. He was deeply in love with her.

He told her again and again, from time to time about his feelings for her. And they remained friends for years. He was tired of being hurt. Yet he wouldn't stop loving her. Maybe he couldn't stop loving her. But he tried to do it. So many failures, messed, torn and broken hearts were something he got out of it. He was broken somewhere too because it was his failures and others also had to pay. And all at the price of getting over this one girl. Yet he knew somewhere no one along the path he walked, would be close to how she was. He couldn't let go of her. He was in love with her.

a black and white life.

You're sitting alone on your bed and you're thinking what went wrong all these years. You were so confused about everything in your life. And you realise you're sitting in a puddle of mess because of your wrong decision and then you question yourself,"Were you ever right about anything?" And then there is no answer, just an emotion of sorrow and emptiness. You feel that you're helpless and that consumes you. That single feeling turns you into an empty shell of nothingness.

Years pass by nothing really changes, no matter how much you try. You see many happy faces around you and that encourages you to be happy. But you cannot be truly happy. And then someday you realise you've turned into an empty shell that is hollow. Every emotion goes through you but doesn't stay. You think everything around you is meaningless. You hang out with people but you know you're not with them. 

But there are somethings you realise when you truly open your eyes and mind. You will realise all these years you've been carrying around extra something on your back. That extra something has been slowing you down. And everyone else have moved ahead of you. And you just moved into that shell, that shell you were wearing around yourself, that shell you thought would protect you. And then you got separated from everyone else.

But you know in a moment you realise you don't want to be protected and you don't want to be in the shell. You might not really get rid of that extra something you were carrying around and maybe it will be around for life. But if you look closely you'll find hands of those who'll share your load with you. And then you realise you're not alone and afraid to face the world anymore.  

 Wrong decisions in life may seem wrong until you've realised that you've gained a treasure of experiences.